Summer

So this summer has been pretty crazy. Really just plain busy with work (we are going through a reorg of the consulting division and layoffs both of which are alot of work behind the scenes), having two teenagers for the summer (more on that later if you haven't heard the jaw dropping stories and parenting according to Shannon already...) and all my fun summer activities with friends. Again I've been negligent on the blog...

Anyways the first thing I want to share (partly cuz I'm proud of myself) but mostly because I'm really proud of Sam is that he got his license. Brigitte had been wanting him to learn to drive since he was 14 (I think in France maybe that is okay and mostly for emergencies) but I convinced her that he really couldn't but that as soon as he legally could, I would teach him to drive. His dad mainly because he lives in London doesn't know how to drive so Brigitte wanted to ensure that was something that he could do. So last year a little after she passed, Sam (16) and I worked through the process of getting him his permit.

On July 28, 2008, here he is after passing his permit test.

The same afternoon he had his first 2 hours of behind the wheel (he had practiced a little bit prior to that in parking lots - good thing since they immediately had him driving in rush hour traffic on busy 4 lane roads) so he could legally drive with me. Next day we were leaving on the roadtrip to Oregon - great opportunity for driving in lots of different conditions.

When Sam was back for Christmas Break and Spring Break and summer, we drove ALOT. On July 28, 2009, he took his driving test and passed. While he was taking the test, I was seriously nervous for him. After he passed, I was still seriously nervous but now it was because he was going to be driving alone in my car.

Sam and his girlfriend ready to head off for their first drive without me in the car. He looks so grown up...

So this is just one experience in my crazy but wonderful summer with the kids. Its crazy to think that while I haven't been blessed with my own kids, I've experienced this terrifying yet proud moment and probably one of the milestone moments in a teen's life and that of a parent's as they have to learn to trust that the kid will be responsible and safe and have so much more freedom while I've got friends whose kids are just starting to get their permits and just starting the terrifying process.

Some of my driving tips and rules that I think are working:

- if possible wait until they are 17 - worked for Sam and I think he's a bit more mature; planning to do the same with Sarah

- lots and lots of practice in all different conditions (it may be easier, faster and less anxiety for you to drive but the better prepared they are the better they will be when they are driving alone) over and above what they will make them do during the driving test (we did lots of freeway driving especially in traffic, parallel parking, frequently doing the routes that they will be driving so they learn)

- lots of commentary from me (are you surprised?) on why to do something, why not to do something, anticipating things that new drivers just don't see and experienced drivers now take for granted

- driving with the radio on - I know some will say WHAT??? but hear me out. Initially when they start driving and you are heavily instructing them no radio but as they get more comfortable driving turn the radio on. They are going to have the radio on (and loud) when they are driving alone or with friends so better to prepare them for how they are truly going to be driving when they are alone. Today there are so many more distractions than when I learned to drive.

- I didn't let Sam take his test until I was comfortable NOT that he would pass but that I was comfortable with him driving by himself safely and responsibly and with my car

- Post License Rules - no ipod, hand holding or kissing the girlfriend at stop lights for 2 weeks; no going out of the South Bay unless I'm aware, select people are allowed in the car when he's driving.

Its now been almost a month and Sam has proven to be responsible and trustworthy as a driver and with my car. The anxiety has lessened considerably although I do still pray that he will return safely every time he takes the car.

Last thoughts are to my mom. I remember like it was yesterday, taking my driving test while you waited at the curb (yes the one that I went over and they still allowed me to finish the test) with the other parents and the minute we got home I had you out of the car and was on my way to my friends feeling on top of the world with the biggest amount of freedom that a 16 year old can feel. But I do remember you standing in the driveway waving as I drove away and even as I got to the end of the block, I could still see you standing there. Such a different feeling for the adult than the kid.

I do (since I've now lived through it), but at the same time don't know how you did it. Like everything else this summer, I appreciate you more for it.